I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Today my quartet had a REALLY long gig at M. It was quite a mad frenzy, and really long. Really really long. Just thankful for the people who showed some response, gave some encouragement and all. That was really great. Really. :)

Anyway, REALLY tired when I reached home and the last thing I needed was a cockroach in the bathroom. I was even too tired to scream, which would be MY most natural reaction. And the worst thing is, I can't wake the official household cockroach killer, my dad up! If my brother was at home, I'll wake him up immediately, even if it means buying an ipod for him. I wondered where the insecticide is hidden cos I never found it. In the end, I drowned it in dishwashing liquid. TONS of it. Until my entire bathroom floor became white, like snow. Really gross, the thing. I left the bathroom cos I felt really suffocated and grossed out! So I walked around the house for like 15mins before I finally psyched myself to pick up the thing with TONS of toilet paper (so that I can't feel it's shape) and throw it away. Gross.

You who's reading this must be thinking, "Poor Cockroach..." But trust me, you wouldn't want to be in my shoes. Really.

Seems to be something I always fall back on.

Coming face to face with God's love at my worst, not my best, and knowing again, that amazing grace saved a wretch like.

Wow. it's been a good 6 months since I've posted anything. That's like half a year?! And sure a lot has happened in half a year! The week was horrible, with a million rehearsals, a million performances, and a million things to do. Ok, maybe not a million. But I feel awfully bad for being home late EVERY single day, and not being able to eat dinner at home at all this week with my family. Oh wells. This coming week will be WAY better and I'm looking forward to it!!! :) Yays!

Today we finally went for the family graduation shoot. I don't really know what else to call it anyway. Apparently the guy who shot my family shot my parents' wedding photo when they got married 30 years ago! Cool huh? And today my parents revisited that moment by having their own shoot. hee. So sweet right. The experience was really new cos before you know it, lights were flashing from ALL directions when the camera clicked. It was worse that Jon pointing the camera at my nose 5cm away. Can't wait to see the pics when they come out.

It's gonna be a new week and I'm soooo looking forward to it. :)

thank God for DG! :) Love you girls! I can't imagine how life would be like in NUS if I didn't agree to be an SM, and if I didn't get you girls as my disciples. :) God sure has a plan. Thank God for God being God. Wouldn't have done it on my own.

more photos up later. :)

I've seen too much of the world. I think possibly enough I hope. But I think God wants me to see more. Seen people clamouring for power, seen people clamouring for money, seem people clamouring for fame, seen people clamouring for being first. All for the wrong reasons.

You wanna know the right reason? You wanna know the truth? You wanna know who REALLY can give you grace? Ask me, or ask God to reveal Himself to you.

--------

I just pray for you to walk right with God, and to walk close with God, to hear Him speak to you clearly. I know how it hurts, and I feel it for you too, but all I can really do is to pray for you to walk close with God. Because only by His grace, will you see the light of it all. :)

Coincidences? I know that with God, there’s no such thing as coincidences. God-induced coincidences? Yes, that I would understand better. 3 months on, and memories of Japan never fail to come flooding back. When I’m overwhelmed with papers to write, when my eyes drain from reading the tiny fonts, when I’ve got so many decisions to make, God reminds me, that whatever I do, to give of my best to Him.

Still living in the knowledge that God is good in all circumstances 3 months on, I’ve had numerous platforms to perform with my string quartet, or with various musical groups. But none of those could beat the times in Japan. Using music as a means to communicate the gospel to a land that desperately needs it, gives more reason and meaning. 3 months ago, the not-so-perfect music that came from our weary and sore voices, and the truth, spoken in the gospel that was shared, touched the hearts of strangers. If it’s not God’s almighty power, then what was it?

“Japan is dying”, said Dan Junker, a missionary in Japan. These words have yet to leave my mind, even as I meet several Japanese on campus, had lunch-time conversations with people who are researching on the Hikkikomori phenomenon in Japan and the list goes on. The experience I’ve had with God in Japan cannot be put into mere words, but it surely is an element that God uses to drive my walk with Him. So God, what next? Teach me how, and give me the strength to give my best to You. Because only by Your grace, can I live to give my best to the Master.

Being a tourist in Singapore might not be absolutely fun too. It depends on who your tour guides are! A few days back, a friend from Japan came to Singapore, for his very first time! I was totally caught by surprise when he popped up in NUS, thanks to his trusty guidebook. Pretty impressive for a first-timer travelling in Singapore. He even knew the likes of ez-link card etc. Super resourceful!

Somehow, with him being in Singapore, I managed to expand on my circle of Japanese friends! I got to know Akari a whole lot better, a Japanese music student in YST, and realized that there's about 20 Japanese students in NUS, on exchange, and also full time students. It's small, but a sizeable number nevertheless.

Anyhow, on the Saturday that just passed, Ryo went to like a million places. From the entire stretch of Orchard Road, to Esplanade, to Merlion Park, to Victoria Concert Hall. Then to Boat Quay and Clarke Quay, and to Chinatown, where we had dinner at yummy Food Street. And we're not done for the day yet! In the evening was to Night Safari!

On the tram ride, after the Animal Show!

The insane day for Ryo ended at 1230am. Jill must have been exhausted cos she was with him the ENTIRE day. It was a fun, but tiring day. I met Ryo on Monday and he told me how he totally concussed on Sunday after church. Oops. Jill and I were even saying how he might not want to go out with us anymore cos we "tortured" him beyond measure on Saturday! :)

Jon joined us for Night Safari too!

Jesus Others You (J.O.Y)

Just as how we’ve done James 1 for one of the bible study before the team left for Japan, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1: 2-3), being on this journey with God to Japan has been an adventure, an adventure filled with J.O.Y.

The reflections will be sculpted with reference to the lessons I’ve learnt about Jesus, Others, and You, i.e. how I’ve grown in this journey with God. Through the good and bad times, smooth and difficult times, God never fail to remind me that at the end of the day, He’ll be the one to put a smile on my face. That’s the joy that fills my heart, and the joy that comes from God, and only from God.

Jesus

God’s grace never fail to overwhelm me, and never fails to bring me a step closer to Him as I discover that His mercies are new every morning, and how great is Thy faithfulness. Each and everyday, every single concert/street e that we did as a team, never was one done without God’s grace. God’s grace provided the opportunity for every pre-believer to hear His gospel through the message that God led UniSon to deliver. God’s grace gave the team these opportunities to be His ambassadors. The privilege of being part of God’s work to reach out to the lost cannot be surmounted into words. Truly, our God is a great God, a God who saves, a God who cares, a God who loves.

Singing at Rikkyo University

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9. God’s strength was a large part of what I held on to everyday. During the days when my throat was failing, and gradually losing my voice, there was only God’s strength that I could hold on to. When my right ear became blocked, I felt helpless that I couldn’t hear, but God continued to cover me with His strength. God is indeed my strong tower, and my shelter whom I can take refuge in.  

 Ken, someone who has been thoroughly transformed, only by God's grace. His testimony is AMAZING!

As I spend time with God on the trip, I remember one Quiet Time lesson from Luke 23:39-43, a thief repenting in his dying breath as he was hanged beside Jesus. Jesus’ forgiveness for the thief reminds me that there is more grace in God’s heart than sin in our past. How powerful is God’s forgiveness because it can set people free from bondages. With something so powerful, more people should know about it, because it can transform lives. And God is the only one who transforms.

God’s truth can set people free. His love compels, and His peace assures. Even as I share my testimony over and over again, I’m reminded to do it with new hope and joy, because it comes from God. For it is only by grace that I can be sharing this story, and it is God who has given me this story to share with others. How privileged I am for God to be in my story. I know a real God, in this real world. And this real God not only brought back Derek’s luggage to him, but also healed Mark of his sudden breathlessness.

Derek smiling even though he just lost his luggage. That's real joy! :)

God gave me and the team voices to sing even though most of us were on the verge of losing it. He protected me and the team as we traveled, both long and short distances. He gave me stamina to run through this journey together with Him and gave me newfound joy as I am reminded of His grace which saved me from darkness, whenever I share my testimony.

Only by His grace.

Our first Street E. at Tokorozawa!

Others

This journey to Japan has opened my eyes to a culture that’s so lost without God, a culture so trapped in their own God-less world, a culture that doesn’t stop to ponder. Already, before this trip to Japan, God has already been placing burdens in my heart for the lost, to use every given opportunity to reach out to those who have yet to hear about Him. Each and every time I meet a pre-believer, and upon conversing with them with my limited Japanese and their limited English, I learn more about their lifestyle, and I hear how they’ve been blinded. And in me, a little prayer will be said for them, for God to open their eyes to see His truth.

We put up a concert at Luke's High School! :)

In Nagano, as Jon Junker shared about the “Hikikomori” as a cultural disorder and the problems of this social withdrawal, it was an answered prayer from God as I asked Him to show me who are these people whom UniSon is going to meet in Japan. As Jon shared, I see how this cultural disease can either bring the Japanese to God or away from God. It’s great to hear how the Japanese who turn to God have been freed of this bondage, but what about those who are still deeply submerged within the cultural disease of “Hikikomori”? What about those who think of suicide day and night, those who enclose themselves, those who do not know there’s a God to run to, or cry out to? There’s a God who loves them, but yet they do not know. All the more God’s gospel needs to reach every corner of Japan, for them to experience freedom from God and for them to know of His unconditional love. It led me to thank God for each and every opportunity He gives UniSon to tell pre-believers about His gospel.

I remember very vividly what Dan Junker said, when we visited Northstar Adventure Lodge, “Japan is dying.” These simple, but powerful words pierced through me as Dan shared very briefly about the work he has been doing, and it brought me back to reality to the work the team is doing in Japan. Hard as it may be, as unreceptive as the Japanese may be, it’s God’s strength, grace and faithfulness that keep him and his team going at Northstar. And it’s also the very same elements that kept UniSon going as we journey with God in Japan.

After our mini-concert at Ikebukuro House Church..

Following the visit to Northstar, UniSon did a programme in the hospital the next day. Again, God showed me visually and physically, how the Japanese are dying without Him. I saw how people were suffering from physical illnesses, suffering with no hope, and not a single glimpse of light from God. The hopelessness surfaced within me as we sang to this old lady who said, with all the strength she could muster up, “I don’t know how long more I’ll be able to live.” Only with God, will we inherit eternity. It saddens my heart to be reminded again, how much people need God and how some have not even heard about this God who brings hope. John 3: 16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” As Amazing Grace rang through the corridors of the hospital, and as I walked down, I am reminded again, that it is only God who can bring salvation, only God who can bring hope, only God who can bring life in death. As much as we can sing Amazing Grace, it is God who touches the hearts of the people, it is the Holy Spirit who ministers to the hearts of the people. We were merely vessels, privileged to be used by God with the words He places on our lips. Once again, I was humbled. Humbled by God’s grace and God’s urgent desire to reach the lost.

I always hear this statement of the Japanese, “Unless they are in a crisis, or something drastic happens to them, they’ll never stop to think about who God is, or even whether God exists.” At Matsumoto Bible Gospel Church, part of the journey in Nagano, I had the chance to talk to Jyu-go san, a pre-believer. It was Jyu-go san’s first time in church, and first time hearing the gospel. Jyu-go san, from my impression, is a friendly and amicable lady in her 50s whether she’s sipping the tea or trying to understand what I was saying. Language was a barrier as Jyu-go san spoke minimal English and I spoke almost no Japanese but God still provided people like Seng and Toshi who came to the rescue when she asked me some questions which enabled me to share more about Jesus. As she asked about my conversion, how I received salvation, and even about my family, it excited me because she seems to want to find out more. I gradually understood that the barrier was her family. I felt that culturally and historically, I still have so much to learn about Japan, but also thankful for having the chance to sow these seeds in Jyu-go san’s life.

 After the concert at Matsumoto Bible Gospel Church.

There were just so many people whom I’ve met who left significant footprints in this journey. Toshimi from AFC and Ken from Tokorozawa Youth Church who have such powerful testimonies. Yamashita, who is a young believer, but yet fervently wanting to share. (Nevermind the times when he was sticking to me.) Kyoko, who is so close to coming to know God personally. The harvest in Japan is plentiful, but the strongholds need to be broken down with lots of prayer.

 Top: Seng, me, Jill with Toshimi! Another life that has been tranformed! :)

Bottom: The team at Tokorozawa Youth Church with many pre-believers!

Another group of people who have been indispensable through this amazing journey is UniSon. So different we are, but yet God chooses to use each member of the team, to pull me up when I’m down, to do crazy things together, to share and fellowship with, to encourage me when I need it most. What a mished-mashed team, but yet at the end of it all, we grow closer to each other, and closer to God. The trip wouldn’t be the same if someone was missing, it just wouldn’t be complete.

 Top: UniSon at Nagano, having fun with snow, before a concert!

Below: Back in Tokorozawa, encouraging each other with a ball of rafia. :)

I truly give thanks to God for calling this team together, for Arene who so courageously took leadership, hearing God so often, being a man after God’s heart and for showing me the real picture of music missions. Thank you for always egging, me and the team on to “Give your best to the Master.” Chern Ee, who showed me how to combine missions and being a mommy. More importantly, also showing me what it means to use music to do missions, connecting with people on the ‘heart’ level.

The team at Genki Sushi! 100 Yen per plate! :)

For Alawn and Cherylyn who brought much joy and laughter to me and the team, and for being so selfless!

Top: Cheryl, me, Cherylyn, Joy, Alawn @ Genki Sushi!

Bottom: Derek and Mark's Birthday in Japan. :)

For Cheryl, the times that we have shared together, whether it’s praying, talking, singing or shopping! For Emerald, without you, I wouldn’t even be in Frankel. Thank you for placing that invitation in my hand many years back. For Jill, thank you for your heart-felt sharing, and for sharing your struggles and how God has helped you overcome it. I’ve been encouraged!

The ladies of UniSon @ Abundant Life Church!

For Joy, thank you for our brief time to talk in the car, and how God called you to Japan. Even though it’s tough, you still choose to persevere. For Chee Seng, sharing with me God’s call for you, your ministry in Japan, and your reliance on God as you serve Him in Japan!

Top: UniSon eating on the go!

Bottom: Before rehearsals with Luke, Jill, Toshi. :)

For Mark, your never-ending entertainments (though some are repetitive) always tickle me. For Derek, thank God for this chance to know you better, your words of wisdom from God’s Word never fails to perk me up. We’ve got one last semester to go! For Toshi, without whom I will be using sign language. Thank you for showing me how you’re always willing to be used by God, as and when He shows. And of course, thank God for Luke and Laura, who always brings joy to me, just seeing the way they are, being child-like.

Words cannot bring forth how this team is special. UniSon has formed a part of my journey with God, a very significant part. J Love you guys to bits!

You

Music missions has always been something that I wanted to do. From the day God placed in my heart the burden for the lost, I’ve always thought how wonderful it would be to combine the musical training that God has given me with this burden He has placed in my heart. As technically and musically perfect we can be, as beautiful the music is, it is not entirely about the lyrics, music, song, that comes out from my mouth, but it’s the heart-to-heart communication with the audience that forms a huge portion of the pie, as I was reminded again, on the last day.

UniSon doing a Children's Evangelistic Programme! 

More importantly, as God led me to embark on this journey beginning of 2007, and as I decide to do so, I asked God to show me, what His plans would be for me after I graduate in May 2008, and this was one of the expectations I had of this trip. I asked God, “Place in my heart the burdens You want me to have. Let me hear Your heartbeat. If need be, break my heart for what breaks Yours.” In many ways, I saw the things that God opened my eyes to see, and heard from Him through many experiences. Even now as I’m back in Singapore, desiring God everyday has become something that I look forward to, because I know that God refreshes and encourages!

Top: UniSon outside Azumino Family Chapel!

Bottom: UniSon at the airport going home...

I’ve grown to find joy through good and bad times, because I know there’s a purpose in the things that happen. I’ve learnt too, to trust in His plans even as I continue to journey with God after I graduate. As this trip has been a significant part of my journey with God, I know and trust, that in God’s goodness, He’ll lead and guide me. I know now, to always give my best to the Master. J

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

Thank You for all that You’ve done.

I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: ’Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ —Isaiah 6:8

When we talk about the call of God, we often forget the most important thing, namely, the nature of Him who calls. There are many things calling each of us today. Some of these calls will be answered, and others will not even be heard. The call is the expression of the nature of the One who calls, and we can only recognize the call if that same nature is in us. The call of God is the expression of God’s nature, not ours. God providentially weaves the threads of His call through our lives, and only we can distinguish them. It is the threading of God’s voice directly to us over a certain concern, and it is useless to seek another person’s opinion of it. Our dealings over the call of God should be kept exclusively between ourselves and Him.

The call of God is not a reflection of my nature; my personal desires and temperament are of no consideration. As long as I dwell on my own qualities and traits and think about what I am suited for, I will never hear the call of God. But when God brings me into the right relationship with Himself, I will be in the same condition Isaiah was. Isaiah was so attuned to God, because of the great crisis he had just endured, that the call of God penetrated his soul. The majority of us cannot hear anything but ourselves. And we cannot hear anything God says. But to be brought to the place where we can hear the call of God is to be profoundly changed.

(From my Utmost for His Highest)

It has been a busy busy busy morning. Went to see the doctor, got $40 worth of medication, bought pens for exams tomorrow, then came to church to study.

The week has been long. I don't think I've ever done so much in a week before. Finished 2 group papers, 1 individual paper, and still working on 1 more group paper. All 5000 words. The last group paper has already hit 15,000 words and we're not done. Oh well, but tomorrow's exams come first!

Falling sick is so not fun because it's irritating. I'm thankful that my brother is back from Wallaby! But that also means that I can't use his room anymore, and have to go back to sharing the room with my sister. This means studying in the dining room because the lights can't be on when my authoritative sister is sleeping.

I'm kinda strangely excited about the exams. I guess it's God who really provides the peace. Same peace tomorrow before the paper, ok God? :)

"In Christ Alone"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Let me live in the glory of Your grace.

Running "G(od's) Race" is only made possibly by His Grace.

I'm certainly not deserving of Your grace, in actual fact, noone is. But it just goes to show how much God loves you and me.

If God decides to suddenly make a right turn, what is that to me?

If God decides to come to a stop, what is that to me?

If God decides to speed forward, what is that to me?

If God decides to take His time, what is that to me?

Jesus answered,"If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me." - John 21: 22

A saint is never consciously a saint - a saint is consciously dependent on God.

Been swarmed with essays. Cleared 2 presentations. FINALLY! But 4 more essays to write and my first exam, which happens to be the most difficult, is next Saturday. I want to do the exams NOW and fly to Japan!

Anyhow, God still has been good, showing me much of His grace (very much needed!) and always assures me that all will be fine with Him around. I'm contented. Just like how He provided for our accomodation in Tokorozawa, I'm sure He'll provide for Arene's air ticket too, and the China team's support raising, and those going on Gen12ii Wave 4 to Japan - I'm sure God will provide you with your funds and air ticket too. :) I'm thankful that I've got more to give thanks for than to complain about. :) So that's awesome.

I know He'll carry me through. In Christ alone, my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song. :)

This Charity Gala Dinner for the CPA sure was a big thing, with all the new age tai-tais in their pretty, elaborate, pricey gowns, with their hair done up, make up professionally done. As I stepped into the ballroom, I felt a myriad of faces turn to me, the guys in suits, ladies in the prettiest of gowns, and here I am in a simple dress. Well, I'm still a student! They sure make me feel young. :) Actually, it feels nice to be simple amidst the glamourous. It's hard to describe, but I like being simple and young, like in the JC days.

Our table of 10 costs $20,000! Since someone so generously donated so much, we were placed just beside the VIP table. Just as how Ms Leong gushed at the proximity of our table to the most important one, I too gushed.  This $2000 seat allowed me to catch up with Mr Ngoei, Ms Leong (obviously! since she invited me!), Mrs Chan, Ms Yong (I don't think she's a 'Ms' anymore cos she got married), Lynne, PeiQian, Jane and several others.

Memories rushed into my mind as we sang the AC School song. Nostalgia just totally filled me up. I feel excitement for AC, curious as to where performing arts will take the school to. Somewhere fab, if God willing. :)

Night of glamour, night of catching up, night of just soaking in the AC Spirit.

Look, even the dessert had an AC crest!

Now I know what D means when he says he's living day by day, allowing each day to just pass, waiting for each day to just pass so that we can move on. I'm tired of doing impromptu presentations though God never fails to always bring the group through. I'm tired of reading on soooo many different topics, I'm tired of going for soooo many project meetings.

I want to do the exams NOW and fly off to Japan! One presentation down today, one more presentation and four more papers to go. 5000 words per essay. That's a good 20,000 words to write. But thank God that 3 of those papers are group papers, so that lightens my load a little.

These few weeks have a reassuring time of getting to know God better, and what God really cherishes and smiles upon. I want to surrender, give You all my burdens, fears, inhibitions, ambitions. All to give to You, because only then, can You work miracles.

5 loaves and 2 fishes by Corrinne May

YOU ARE HOLY

Darlene Zschech

You are holy, holy
Lord there is none like You
You are holy, holy
Glory to You alone

I'll sing Your praises forever
Deeper in love with You
Here in your courts
Where I'm close to Your throne
I've found where I belong

This song just rang through my head after an email got sent accidentally by a stranger to me with this attached. Very interesting how God reassures.

To the person who sent this by mistake, or by accident. Thank you for doing so. Some things we just cannot fathom.